today's diary

For the past 6 months I've been living without a soul. I tried to pull myself from the loneliness but all I got was just emptiness. Often, I looked outside my bedroom window and I saw a light a sign...a sign that tell me I had to be strong, but all I know was that I didn't pay attention to any of them. I felt like I lost my faith and hope and I didn't know which way to go. Until now, I still can't find myself feel alive. I can't even cry anymore...all I can feel is just a pain in my heart that won't go away. I force to smile but deep inside I scream so hard. I won't to let go all of my feeling but I can't, it grab me so tight and drag me down. I spend my day wandering around and do things that I am supposed to do. Somehow, part of me tell me I have to do this but the rest of me tell me to stop. I become someone that no one like to be around.. someone that doesn't care about other people and what they think about me. I trap in the world of my own...the world that no one will ever touch. I know that I act so selfish and most of the time I just want to lay in my bed and don't have to say anything to anybody. I don't know where my soul is, all I know is that it wants to go home. I don't know how I still stand so tall when my heart is so weak and hurt. I could not figure out why I wanna do this over and over again when I feel so tired of being alone and broken.

Life is complicated. For me, sometimes I just don't understand my life. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future and sometime I got confuse in making those decisions. But I learned that if we want to know how it feels or done, we must try to do it. Of course we all afraid of the consequences but how are we supposed to know or learned from it if we are not doing it? ..We all have choices to make and it is up to us to choose our path. How do we know if this decision is right for us? the answer is "we don't"....our job is to find out. In life, we might fall so many times and we might break hundred times but we should never give up....we have to move on. I know it is hard to get back on our feet but who else is gonna make us..nobody....We, You n I have the power to make that miracle come true ..no matter how hard or how long it will take, if we believe that destiny is in our hand...we're gonna make it in life. All we have to do is believe in our heart that if we meet difficulties in life these are not the end of everything but these might be the beginning of something. Myself...I might done a lot of bad things, I made a lot of mistakes, I broke down so many times...I stumbled and fell but here I am....standing still and never giving' up hope of something special that might happen. I believe that there is still fairness in this world, we just need to be patient.

Honesty, trust, and loyalty

We learned so many things about this life. We learned how to trust ourselves and others, and before we can trust others we have to believe in ourselves. Sometimes it is difficult to trust others if we don't know the person very well. Trust is like building a bridge whether it is with someone we love, business associate, customers etc. In a relationship, it is hard to accept someone if we don't trust him/her. Trust help us learn others' self-value, perspective, believe, and desire. Trust is something that we need to earn or to build. Earning a trust is like building a house, we need the foundation/the base to make this building strong and last forever. Trust starts with honesty and integrity. In order for people to accept us for who we are we have to be honest to ourselves and to them. To be honest about anything sometime is not possible, but if we want to build a good relationship we have to try to be open. Being an honest person will help us to be a better person and live a better life. There is no burden upon our shoulder whatsoever; we feel free. It plays an important role in our personal gain or achievement. honesty and trust are the road to loyalty. Loyalty means that we believe in others, appreciate their honesty , and maintain integrity. To be loyal is to be able to keep their words and ours in a good shape. This means that we have to trust others as they will trust us. In a simple way, loyalty means that we kept our words and promises so that we don't hurt other people feeling or reputation.

As the time goes by, we saw many changes in our life, environment, and society. Sometimes we feel that there is no common believe about honesty, trust, and loyalty to one another. Lies are more common and become part of our society. Lie is wrong still just because most people do it doesn't make it right. We cannot start something based on lie because sooner or later it will fall apart. Until it is too late and we don't have any ways to fix it. Sometime we don't realize what we have until that thing is gone. We cannot turn back time and fix the past, but certainly we can build the future. Most of the time, being an honest person, trusted by other, and maintain loyal make our day easier. Like the golden rule says "do unto other as they will do unto you". Be honest if you want them to be honest with you; trust them if you want them to trust you; and be loyal to them if you want them to be loyal to you.

Work for yourself vs. Work for somebody else

Here are the most common questions we all ask each day....what am I going to do for my future? what I wanna be in life? Of course we all are the same...everybody struggle when it comes to that point in life, but the choice that we make is what make us distinct. When we talk about the future usually it means job. Most of us don't know when this thing begin but it has been in our society and became part of our life. Why do we have to work and why job is so important? because that's what we all believe. We need to work to support ourselves, our family, and also our economy. It also gives us pride and honor. There are two choices of work that we can choose from, WORK FOR YOURSELF or WORK FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. Of course both have their own strengths and weaknesses but which one is it that suit us the most.

Being an entrepreneur is not that simple but also is not that hard. We all thing that an entrepreneur must be someone that has big idea and has the financial support to develop that idea. We also think that an entrepreneur is someone that has talent, specific skills, or even born with it. That assumption is true but also wrong. A true entrepreneur is someone who start a new business venture and willing to work hard and take the risk to make that business successful. Not all of them born with it but also they are made. The most important thing are the achievement and determination. We may not have all the skills and personality traits to become an entrepreneur but we must have self-esteem and believe in ourselves to reach success.

Being our own boss or work for ourselves give us more freedom and sense of self-worth. It allows us to choose for ourselves, to make decisions, and to prospect for the future. It liberates us from all the rules and regulations. It helps build our confidence, thought, values, and leadership. Of course there are always problems or dilemmas in the way but that is one of the risk that we need to face. All the challenges we meet in our business venture will help us become an effective leader and a successful entrepreneur. Being our own boss give us courage to do the things that we love to do and give us the strength to do what we love. The cons of being our own boss are we have to sacrifice most of our personal time in the business, stress level is high, and sometime after we get caught up in the business it takes the fun out of it. So that is why it is important for us to manage our time and effort in order for us to stay focus on what we want to accomplish.

Working for somebody else also has its own pros and cons. The pros are lower level of risk, maintain a higher level of performance, and increase team work and decision making. The cons are sometime we lost our freedom to express our idea and get bored so easily because of the same type of work everyday, lower level of challenge. Of course it is not always true but it commonly known. Also, there are people who work for a small or big company and dearly love their job, and THAT IS OK. Usually people who work for a company or organization expect something in return like retirement plan, insurance coverage, etc. Most people choose that path because of that reason, but what happen when the economy strike? most people lost their retirement plan and income. Different with small business venture, even in a bad economy, it has higher chance of survival.

We have the power to choose for ourselves and build our future. Whether we want to start a new business or work for other people, both have a tremendous affect on our life. The most significance thing is that we have to have a goal, it will lead us to where do we want to be in life. Believe in ourselves, aware of what we can and can't do, be positive, maintain self-confident, brave to take the risk, and strive harder to reach success.

My Miracle

There is no perfect word to describe it
Something that is too beautiful to see, too hard to lose
The softness of his voices melts my heart
It lingers in my mind and comforts my soul
It locks my mouth so tight...till I can’t say a word
The touch of his love like a pouring rain on a dessert
It is so rare to get…so much to feel
Kindness of his heart sends me into a heaven
Heaven of my life….a home for my love

His eyes show me friendship, forgiveness, and tenderness
His soul bring peace into my heart
He feels me…my pain, my joy, my life
He is my strength and weaknesses
He is my happiness and sadness
He is my motivation and inspiration
He is my grace and grief

He is my sweet dream
Whose keep me awake and alive
He is the wind of my silences
He is the arrow for my bow
He is my direction when I get lost
He is the shelter of my loneliness

I am not afraid…coz he gives me courage
He is everything that I am not
He fulfills my world with complete colors
He is my angel, my wing
My destiny and my future
He is… my world, my miracle

one for all

Ketika rasa itu datang menghampiri kesendirian
Serasa dunia jatuh diatas pangkuan kita
Berat….sakit…..tak kuasa tuk menahannya
Bahkan meronta dan menangispun tak bisa menghapus rasa itu
Rasa sakit ini seolah-olah tidak mau pergi meninggalkan kita sendiri
Tidak bisa diungkiri…slalu ingin bersama menemani hari kita
Betapa tangguhnya betapa indahnya seakan tidak ada kata yang mampu tuk mendescribekannya
Kangen…begitulah orang-orang menyebut rasa itu
Rasa yang begitu indah tuk dimiliki dan begitu dalam tuk dikagumi
Seakan rasa itu hanya ingin mendekam dalam dada…
Mencengkeram tulang rusuk….
Melemahkan badan dan pikiran…..
Tapi… rasa itu bisa membangkitkan spirit kita
Membuat kita merasakan sesuatu yang begitu luar biasa
Sesuatu yang slalu menyatukan dua hati yang berbeda
Sesuatu yang bisa memberikan rasa memiliki dan dimiliki
Sesuatu yang menumbuhkan kasih sayang yang tak terhingga
Dan sesuatu yang menjadi akar bagi cinta
Tertalu banyak air mata …terlalu banyak rintihan dan doa
Yang senantiasa setia dan mampu mengiringi jalannya
Kangen ….kata yang begitu ringan diucapkan tetapi berat di jalankan
Rasa yang begitu simple tapi dahsyat

The power of love “kekuatan Cinta”

Kerap kita mendengarkan ungkapan kekuatan cinta, sering kita mendengarkannya dari film yang menggambarkan kekuatan cinta itu sungguh maha dahsyat,.

Tentu saja yang saya bicarakan disini bukanlah kekuatan cinta yang sering anda tonton dan dengarkan dilayar kaca televisi anda

Namun kekuatan cinta yang saya maksud adalah kekuatan cinta yang bukan hanya berasal dari ucapan tutur kata tetapi kekuatan cinta bersumber dari hulu sungai yang disebut HATI,.

Sebelumnya kita samakan persepsi mengenai arti kekuatan cinta yang saya maksud disini,..ibarat kita mencari acara channel radio dengan menggunakan tuning, kita memutar tuning tersebut hingga ditemukan acara channel yang sesuai dengan keinginan kita, seperti itulah yang saya maksudkan kita samakan dahulu pandangan kita mengenai makna ungkapan kekuatan cinta.

CINTA,…apakah makna dari cinta? Cinta berarti memberikan sesuatu hal dalam diri kita secara tulus. Cinta tak dapat disebut cinta sejati bila tak memiliki unsur yang disebut dengan ketulusan,

Cinta yang tulus adalah seberapa besar kita memberi (GIVE), dan dalam hal memberi kita pun harus Ikhlas,.bagaikan manis dan gula, pedas dan cabe,..kata memberi dan ikhlas adalah suatu bagian yang selalu menyatu. Yang saya maksud disini bukanlah kata memberi yang kerap kita sampaikan dan dengarkan tetapi kata memberi yang sunguh sangat luar biasa “GIVE MORE” berikan apa yang kamu punya, berikan yang apa yang kamu sukai, berikan apa yang kamu cintai, berikan hati yang kamu miliki,..DENGAN IKHLAS, inilah yang disebut GIVE MORE..berikan dengan ikhlas apapun yang kamu miliki.

Dan tentunya imbas yang kita berikan akan berdampak pada kita,..itulah hukum kekuatan momentum tarik-menarik,..sesuatu didunia selalu memiliki sebab dan akibat…dan apa yang telah kita berikan sekarang akan berdampak kelak pada kita…apa yang telah kita GIVE MORE anda akan memperoleh GET EVEN MORE,..hukum tarik menarik telah bekerja dalam diri kita…dan yang kita dapatkan bukan hanya 2 atau 4,..tetapi 2, 4, 8 hingga kelipatannya..sungguh luar biasa.

Dan mulai sekarang marilah kita kembangkan pola pikir WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU,…berikan yang kamu miliki kemudian lanjutkan terimalah semuanya apa yang telah kamu beri GET EVEN MORE..dan perlu diingat pada saat anda memberikan sesuatu, berikan sajalah atas dasar tulus tanpa ada suatu dasar unsur keinginan tertentu, ikhlaskanlah..maka hal yang luar biasa akan terjadi pada anda.

Dan apa yang anda dapatkan dari hasil GIVE MORE selalu syukurilah…

dan tertulis didalam AL-Qura’an bahwa

“Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur, kami akan menambah nikmat kepadamu, jika kamu mengingkari nikmat-KU, maka sesungguhnya azab-KU sungguhlah pedih”

Sekedar cerita sedikit dari seorang sahabat yang mengalami kejadian yang sangat luar biasa,..

Ketika sore itu seorang sahabat saya sepulang dari acara seminar luar biasa,..saat ia melangkah menuju kendaraan yang ia parkir, tanpa dengan sengaja ia menginjak selembar uang kertas 5 ribu rupiah. baginya, uang yang ia temukan ini sungguh bernilai harap dimaklumi temanku ini hanyalah seorang anak kos dalam kesahariannya selalu saja mengikatkan ikat pinggang tuk memenuhi kebutuhan sehari-hari nya,..senyum kecil tersimpul dibibirnya dan mengucapkan Alahamdulillah dengan segala rezeki yang telah KAU berikan pada hambamu,..

Pada saat ia akan mengendarai kendaraanya Subhanalloh apa yang yang ia saksikan sekarang membuat hatinya terketuk, ketulusannya tumbuh sesaat senyum kecil tampak terlihat dibibirnya mulai mengkerut karena ia melihat seorang ibu melintas didepannya sembari menggendong seorang bayi kecil berusia sekitar 1,5 tahun, tampak sang ibu rela mengemis hanya untuk sesuap nasi, raut wajah tua dan kelelahan tampak dari sang ibu …itulah yang membuat hati sahabat saya terketuk untuk memberi secara tulus,.. dan tanpa perasaan negatif, dirinya telah menunjukan seberapa besar keikhlasannya saat itu,..terasa senyum lega setelah ia memberikan selembar uang 5 ribu yang bukan menjadi haknya lagi,..dan yang sungguh luar biasa jawaban apa yang ia terima dari sang ibu ini,..hanya wajah layu dan sepasang mata sendu tampak sedih, tertegun memandang sahabat saya, tak terucap suatu kata apapun dari sang ibu ,..hanya ucapan TERIMA KASIH yang begitu terdengar sangat samar dan dalam, hingga membuat sahabatku sedih dalam kebahagiannya…tanpa sadar ilmu yang berharga yang ia dapatkan dari seminar tersebut telah ia wujudkan, The Power of love telah bekerja didalam relung hatinya…GIVE MORE yang ia berikan menunjukan seberapa besar keikhlasannya …dan yang sangat membuatku tak percaya ia mengalami kejadian yang sangat luar biasa terhitung kurang lebih seminggu semenjak kejadian itu, ia mendapatkan rezeki yang tak terduga,…Subhanallah ternyata yang kau tunjukan adalah benar,..

Saudaraku Apa yang kita BERIKAN sekarang suatu kelak niscaya, kita akan DAPATKAN hingga tak terhingga......

mensyukuri karunia kita

Kadang kita tidak pernah berfikir betapa luckynya kita dengan apa yang kita miliki. Kalau kita melihat kehidupan orang-orang disekitar kita (orang-orang yang bekerja susah payah hanya untuk sesuap nasi, anak-anak jalanan yang tak sekolah karena tidak punya biaya, orang disekitar kita yang tidak punya rumah untuk berteduh) apakah kita pantas untuk tidak bersyukur?

I am thankfull for everything I have....aku diberi kesehatan jasmani dan rohani...diberi badan yang sempurna...akal pikiran yang sehat bahkan hidup yang layak, keluarga yang baek dan fiance yang sempurna. Kadang enough is never enough....kita slalu meminta kepada Tuhan untuk slalu hidup enak, bahagia, punya pekerjaan bagus dsb tapi setelah kita mendapatkan apa yang kita minta kadang kita terlalu tamak terlalu greedy untuk meminta hal yang lain. Sifat kita yang slalu kekurangan dan sulit untuk mensyukuri karunia kita kadang membuat kita menjadi orang lain.

Take a moment....sit back...and relax.....after then think about our life, think about our past and take a look at our life today. Ask ourselves questions....apakah yang kita miliki sekarang lebih baek dari dahulu? apakah yang kita minta selama ini sudah terpenuhi? apakah tuhan mendengarkan doa-doa kita? ....dengan begitu kita akan slalu ingat atas karunia yang diatas.

pursuit of happiness

Kebahagiaan itu sulit dicari, jarang datangnya, tapi indah. Disaat kita merasa bahagia serasa dunia ini milik kita, semuanya menjadi ringan, seperti kita berada didalam surga. Hidup kita seolah-olah menjadi nyaman jauh dari rasa tertekan, sedih, dan lamunan. Kebahagiaan membawa kesan tersendiri ..kesan yang tak bisa terlupakan..kesan yg ingin selamanya kita miliki..kesan yg lebih berharga daripada harta dan benda. Jika kita bisa merasa bahagia every second of the day betapa perfect hidup kita tapi untuk bisa merasakan hal itu ada kalanya kita harus bertemu dengan kesedihan, sakit hati, pengorbanan, ketulusan, dan keiklasan. We don't know why we feel the way we feel sometimes, but we know that we are here to find out the answer.

what is d word "success" mean?

SuceSssuSuccess means different thing for different people. Sometimes people perceive success in a whole term. It doesn't mean that they are wrong, but we have to understand what level of success that we want to achieve. Success doesn't mean we have to had a company or become the richest person in town, but success is about reaching our goal, happiness, and satisfaction. Of course we have different goal and level of satisfaction, but we have to keep in mind that sometime "enough is never enough." Anyway, here is the definition of success:
S--start with a goal
U--unleash negatif thingking
C--create a plan
C--commit to it
E--expect problems
S--strive harder
S--stick to it
Success start with a goal and end with a goal.